The Virtues Behind the Interrupt Courtesy

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.Matthew 5:16 (NKJV) 

A Beautiful Scenario

            Recently, I had a lovely visit with a young mom and her children. At one point while we were chatting, her energetic 5-year-old son came and stood by her side and gently touched his mother’s arm. After a moment or two, when a natural pause came in our conversation, she excused herself and addressed her son. He had some urgent 5-year-old business to take care of and she answered his question and sent him on his way. We resumed talking. The whole process took less than 2 minutes. 

            This beautiful scenario demonstrates what we commonly call the “Interrupt Courtesy.” This isn’t just a cool trick taught to a child for the sake of our convenience as adults, but a practical way to teach virtues and develop character in the heart of a child. Children need such vehicles to understand the concepts of love, kindness, respect, etc. The right actions help them to internalize the right principles to live by, even before they can fully grasp the meaning. 

            Teaching right actions is the first step in teaching our children to live principally. We do not stop, however, at teaching the action, but we also supply them with the reasons behind it. This means that we understand and believe the truths on which the actions we require are based. Let’s consider the virtues that are reflected and expressed by the interrupt courtesy. 

The Preciousness of Others

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.Philippians 2:3-4 (NASB)

            In a word, the interrupt courtesy demonstrates respect. The child is taught that he is not the only person who has needs and he must consider others’ needs as well as his own. He defers to the wisdom of the adults to decide when it is appropriate to ask his question. This shows his respect for age and the wisdom of those beyond his years. He considers the context of the moment (Mom is talking with another person) and takes the right action (interrupt courtesy). He is learning that other people are precious and how to treat them as such. 

The Fruit of the Spirit on Display

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 (NASB)

            Consider how many of these qualities are on display by this one simple courtesy. 

Love - Love is most purely demonstrated in how we treat others. A child can show love to his mother and her guest by deferring to them. It’s a stark contrast in a world where it’s commonplace to have children who rudely interrupt and demand their parent’s attention without regard for others. In turn, the mom has wisely and lovingly provided a way for her child to have his needs met while still loving and considering the preciousness of her guests. 

Joy - This, in turn, produces joy - joy in obedience, joy in serving one another and joy in the beauty of the process. It certainly was a joy to me to see this scene play out. 

Peace - Because this child had been trained to the interrupt courtesy there was no demanding, whining, or unhappiness. The process brought peace to the child in meeting his need and maintained the peace of the home overall. 

Patience - Certainly the little boy was demonstrating patience in waiting for his mother to respond. 

Kindness & Goodness - Courtesy is defined as an action that shows respect and kindness. The interrupt courtesy provides an avenue for acting with kindness. Showing such kindness is surely good and reflects the character of our good Father in heaven. 

Faithfulness - The child demonstrates faithfulness in his obedience to follow the process he has been trained to. However, I think the interrupt courtesy mostly puts on display the parents’ faithfulness to train their child to a standard of righteousness. 

Gentleness - Again this little boy was calm and patient and placed his hand so gently on his mother’s arm. There was no tugging on Mom’s sleeve or pulling or hanging on her in any way. 

Self-Control- The child’s ability to demonstrate many of the above qualities shows he was first and foremost trained in self-control. It required self-control on his part to patiently follow through and not just burst into the room to breathlessly ask his question. 

            Finally, I don’t think the mom or child gave this little incident much thought in the moment. The interrupt courtesy has become a habit ingrained in the fabric of this home just like saying please and thank you is habit for most of us. In a way, the parents taught their son to think of me long before I arrived at their home that day. By intentionally teaching their children biblical virtues and finding ways (like the interrupt courtesy) to live them out in everyday life, these young parents have rightly considered the preciousness of others and are training their children to do the same.  

Beth Ann Plumberg enjoys full-time RV living with her husband Chuck. Together they research family history. In addition to visiting their kids and grandkids, she likes to read, take walks, crochet, and doodle.